The Biebs and Selena Gomez: It’s official

Not that I personally give half a shit about this, but I like the writing. *shrug*

Anyway....

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez appeared together Sunday at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, where Gomez wore a floor-length red Dolce and Gabbana gown to complement Bieber’s black Dolce and Gabbana suit. It was the first “official” outing for the two lovebirds, cementing months of speculation between those aged 8 to 18 and bored gossip columnists and the commuters who read her.

Since they never went to a traditional school, we’re sure this was like prom for the two child stars. But instead of being held in some dingy gymnasium that smells of years of sweat and burgeoning hormones, it was at the most exclusive party in the entire world. Still, you have to feel for Justin Bieber — he might be a millionaire a hundred times over, but he’ll never know how exciting an illicit sip of Mad Dog 20/20 tastes in the parking lot of a school’s gym. Then again, we’ll never know what it’s like to have Jeff Bridges as a chaperone, so we’re calling a draw.

By DOROTHY ROBINSON