We all know that Kim Kardashian has amassed a significant, albeit completely undeserved, level of fame, we may not all know how she’s done it, so let me break it down for you. Actually before I list her “accomplishments,” and trust me I use that term as loosely as grammatically possible, let me say this: The real reason that Kim K. is famous is because America is full of brainless zombies controlled by television. Moving on… Miss Kardashian’s claims to fame include:
Filming an absolutely, ridiculously boring sex tape
Having a slightly larger than average butt (for a white girl)
A pointless “reality” show
Being a jock chasing slut
And a Super bowl commercial that was somehow more of a pointless bore than her sex tape and her stupid show combined.
Now with all of the notoriety that she’s gotten for basically doing nothing, you would think that would be enough, but not for our little busy bee. Now this self absorbed bitch has decided to spread her brand of idocity into the music business.
I have a myriad of problems with this foolishness! First off, the song is even more boring than her and Ray J rolling around in bed! Second, this bitch can’t sing! I mean the song may have all of 8 notes, #CmonSon The fact that she convinced The Dream to produce this garbage is a detriment to his reputation in my opinion, although after he decided to step away from the board and behind the mic, his reputation ain’t been worth shit anyway. She says she will donate half of the proceeds to cancer research. Now you may be asking, “What’s wrong with that?” The answer: nothing. Well, nothing except for the fact that the real reason she’s doing this is because her publicist needed her to do something that said “Look at me, look at me!” so she could make more money. Because let’s be real, let’s say she sells 100,000 downloads, that’s $50,000 to cancer, and $25,000 in her pocket. Makes her look like a saint right? That’s the point! Where she’ll make the real money is all of the publicity this will give her; all of the talk shows, radio shows, etc. The only thing that money is going to is the cancer that she (and those in her ilk) is contributing to the degradation of music.
But worse than ALL OF THAT is the fact that she will probably sell more than real musicians will this week. It’s no coincidence that this song, for lack of a better term, is hitting the net on a Wednesday. She’ll probably outsell Tiësto vs. Diplo’s “C’mon (Catch ‘Em by Surprise)” and they had a 3 day head start. If that happens, it will truly show that Americans don’t actually listen to music at all.
A t this point, I’m just praying that they don’t decide to shoot a video *sigh*
Here’s the song if you feel the need to torture your eardrums: Kim Kardashian's "Jam"